Posts made in November, 2006

Flying By

Posted by on Nov 28, 2006 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

It seems like just yesterday that I was preparing to get ready to think about Jud flying to DC for a few days. That was now two weeks ago and it has barely set in that his trip is over and Thanksgiving has come and gone. He flew out during reading week and got to see my Grans and his grandparents and sort of go to this conference thingy. Then that Friday, he got up all early (3 am) and drove to BWI from southwesternish DC and got on a plane to come back to Dallas. Around 1:30 that afternoon we got in my car and started driving north.

I should tell you that I was a little shocked to see him because he hadn’t shaved in a couple of days and looked kind of like homeless-Jud, who, although rugged in his good looks, is also very scratchy and foreign to me. He looked pretty tired and smelled like his grandparents’ house (you know your grandparents house has a smell too. Everybody’s house has a smell no matter what and some of them are okay and some of them are less than okay, but with my pregnancy nose, I just could not stand the smell of his jacket. I can’t describe the smell or anything. It doesn’t smell like a cream or a lotion or a food item or any other familiar thing. It’s just a smell that the house takes on from your cooking and your cleaning and the people and things inside of it. In general, I don’t like the way most people’s houses smell. I’m picky. Also maybe a smell snob.) But, I missed him a lot while he was gone so I was glad he was there with me.

We were doing okay on the trip up. I didn’t have too many bathroom needs, but we were obviously stopping more than we normally do. By the time 9:30 hit, Jud looked dead tired. I was feeling really uncomfortable and I knew it was time to stop. We were still on the K-Pike but nearing our exit so I called OnStar (or my dad, either one) and asked him to look up hotels right off the interstate where we could lay our weary heads. He found one that seemed non-dumpy and yet not overpriced and called them to make a reservation. Then he paid for the room. (He is like that. Sneaky. Generous. Generously sneaky. I love this side of him.) I think Jud was asleep as soon as he lay down.

We made it to Omaha the next morning early enough to help set up and decorate for the All Church Thanksgiving dinner. It was good to see some people before the busy Sunday and get to say hello. There were lots of people moving things around in the gym and making things in the kitchen and it reminded me of all of the community that we are missing out on while we are away. I’m sure we’ll help set up next year too.

I had the whole week off of work, so I filled my days with breakfasts, lunches, coffees and dinners with friends. I also saw my dentist for some crazy tooth pain (no cavities, just pregnancy gums), my mother’s stylist who cut my hairs, got to go to chapel to hear about Portugal from Rebecca and just relax in general. It was much needed and pretty wonderful.

The drive home was terrible. It was good weather. Jud drove the whole way. We had plenty of snacks. But my UTI made the whole thing one giant pain in my lower abdominal area and the constant urge to pee made stopping even more frequently a complete necessity. (Side note: My husband is 100% awesome. He has always been 100% awesome to me, but since the whole preggers bit he has been even more understanding, even more patient, even more accommodating, even more loving, even more awesome than he already was. I didn’t even know it was possible).

So, yesterday morning, after thinking long and hard about the ridiculously long drive home the day before, we bought plane tickets. (Sorry for that lame present you’ll be getting for Christmas. It’s too bad we spent it all on ourselves!)

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Posted by on Nov 28, 2006 in Uncategorized | 3 comments

So, the past four months I’ve been keeping my secret from you, Internet, and now I can finally post the things I’ve been thinking…well, most of them anyway.

This week I am sixteen weeks pregnant (which means that the baby is 14 weeks…yeah, I didn’t get how all that worked before either. Just never really thought about how the weeks were counted. Also important to know is that it’s 40 weeks of pregnancy, not just the 36 weeks that everyone calls 9 months and gives pregnant people a false sense of the finish line. It’s a full 9 months. You have to finish the 9th month. Good to know) which means that the baby is still pretty small but my belly is getting pretty big. The last time we were at the doctor’s office he reminded me that “all of this” (makes swirling motions with his hand over my poochy tummy) is “just water” and that my uterus is “way down here” somewhere still south of my belly button. Thank you, Doctor I used to like. You are only encouraging the crazy thoughts in my head. Not helpful. Mmmmkay?

I can’t be too mad at him though, since he did give us this…

BehBeh at 12 weeks

So, we are having a baby and we are very happy and the only issue I’ve got with all of it is that I have to buy clothing that I won’t be able to wear for years and years.

Here are the answers to your questions:

– The baby is due on May 14th.
– We are going to find out if he/she is a her or a him.
– We’ll let you know when we know.
– The last week I can fly anywhere is the first week of February, so if you’re hoping to see us after that, you’re just going to have to come to Dallas.
– I didn’t throw up a lot during the first trimester but I felt sick everyday.
– I was exhausted all of the time, but I feel a little better now.
– I’d never had a UTI before the baby, but I’ve had two since.
– UTIs are terrible and should be banished from all the earth.
– I don’t have any strange cravings, although I do have food aversion (red sauces, certain meats).
– I will post pictures of my growing stomach as soon as we download them from the camera.

Did that cover it?

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GAH! and also Whoa.

Posted by on Nov 28, 2006 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Written on October 5
I got all crazy on Sunday night because I had a little bit of spotting and I started imagining that the baby had died. I got so worked up after reading online about miscarriage (why are the symptoms of miscarriage the same symptoms as pregnancy?!) that I called a family friend who’s an OB/Gyn and made him give me a diagnosis from Ohio (which of course he would not do because he’s all professional and stuff…I’m sure his real patients appreciate that). He just pretty much said “it could be something or it could be nothing but you won’t know until you have an ultra sound.” My appointment was for the next day anyway but I called and got it pushed up to earlier in the day. (My doctor just got a 4D machine and so, we’ll be able to get for real, honest to goodness pictures and a DVD of the baby in utero. It costs a little moolah, but it’s our first kid and how do you not shell out every last cent to get to see him/her as soon as technologically possible? I don’t know either.)
My doc was all “spotting is normal” and “stop freaking out” and also “you guys sure did make quick work of that. I think the exam room table is still warm from your last procedure” then he checked the dates of when things had happened, shook his head and laughed. I told him we weren’t good at following directions. He said “obviously.” So, he didn’t scold us or anything (what’s done is done, right?) and was very positive and encouraging and in general a great doctor. Let me just tell you that I think he is the best doctor ever and he thinks Jud is John Mayer (the nurse told Jud that she thought he looked “just like that guy who played Johnny Cash in that movie.” Later Jud pretended to have a scar on his lip to enhance the Joaquin Phoenixness, but I still couldn’t see it). We got to hear the heartbeat and it was really strong and plenty fast. All is going well right now, but we’ve got one more month before we’ll really be ‘out of the woods’ as the kids say.

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I Almost Didn’t Believe It Myself

Posted by on Nov 28, 2006 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

There were some signs I’d been sort of ignoring for a little while, not because I didn’t want them to mean what they could possibly mean, but because if you start getting excited about something that isn’t real, it can be terribly devastating when reality finally sets in. Jud didn’t really bite on the ‘what if’ bone and so we both sat quietly wondering if it might be true.

I remember all the judgmentalism I have spewed about when to tell people and what is appropriate and I do not disagree with my idea that a quarter of a year should pass before you broadcast news like this [It is September 20th as I write these words, but I will not let you read any of them until November].

Of course, by the time you read these words I will have had to face the doctor who told me to wait until I was cancer free for 6 months before I started growing foreign things in my belly (which is a HUGE deal to me. HUGE. Some person, that I barely know but who has much greater knowledge of the human body, told me not to do something, well, really to wait to do something, and I disobeyed. Makes me a little bit sicker to my stomach to think about it really. I can’t wait to find out how that actually goes). Perhaps he will just smile and shake his head and say “you crazy kids” but I am guessing it may be something sterner and possible more severe-ish; something like “Didn’t I tell you…?” which would make me feel terrible for not listening and obeying. For all of the rebellion in my heart (obviously! I didn’t follow his instructions AT ALL) I still love to be patted on the arm and told I’m a good girl. It’s when the rebellious consequences fall into my lap that I feel complete remorse and undeniable regret. I am hoping that I have not done something terribly wrong. I will know in a few weeks.

In the meantime I will have to keep this secret from all of you and it will be difficult.

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Posted by on Nov 10, 2006 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

I realized this morning that I have a growing envy for the bloggers whose opinions matter to the rest of the world. I don’t necessarily mean the political ones or the investigative reportish ones or the celebrity stalker blogs either. I just mean the ordinary lovely people who are so well read that I can’t really get my own day started unless I see what they have published to the world. I know that I am not the only one because their comments are filled with people telling them funny things or letting them know that they are not alone.

It’s a foolish jealousy, I know. I have no real reason to think their lives have a greater amount of awesome, in fact, most of them are struggling with the daily garbage just the same as you and me. It’s just that for some reason, I need to hear about their garbage and know that I am not alone. I can read their words and look at their pictures and my world feels a little more complete. The words and thoughts of people I have never and most likely will never meet (unless I go to blogHer next year, which is a secret desire that I cannot put down and which is clearly now no longer a secret) make my day. If one of them is suffering I suffer a bit too. If one of them is telling jokes, than I am laughing too. I think this may be how people used to feel about columns in the newspaper or particular news anchors back before the interwebs came and changed our world. The only difference is that these people are Everyman and before we could only hear from the Elite. Now that Everyman has her voice, the Elite have almost been drowned into obscurity.

We tried to watch Katie Couric the other night and there is just something there that forces me to change the channel. I don’t know why I dislike her show so much. I really didn’t mind her on the Today Show, her completely liberal leanings not withstanding. As a news anchor she is not at her best and I can’t look at the spectacle. [You should know that I can’t watch any of the other nightly news programs either because they absolutely enrage me and that CNN has also made me want to yank out my teeth one by one from time to time, but that I don’t L-O-V-E Fox News either. I think I just prefer to read the news than to hear the spin. It’s more palatable in print (and by print I, of course, mean published online because I’m not a fan of the newspaper). I didn’t want you to think I was picking on Katie]. The only other place I get my news is from talk radio, which is more interesting, though usually very partisan. I like the talk and the banter and the ability to say what you are thinking to thousands of people if you’ll just be brave and call in. I like it when the people have a voice. I also like NPR (which my father refers to as National Socialist Radio, as a term of endearment really because he probably listens to it more than I do).

I do my radio listening in the car and have about thirty minutes every morning to listen and up to an hour or so in the afternoon. A couple of days ago I listened to NPR do a segment on the partial birth abortion proceedings from the Supreme Court. NPR’s commentary was clearly in favor of D & X procedures and they were playing clips of audio from the trial. I listened as one Justice corrected the man testifying with the comment “Fetus. You mean the fetus, not child”. Antonin Scalia chimmed in with “Well, technically since it’s 2/3 out of the woman, it’s both a fetus and a child.” His words were comical, but the point was not. I found it very difficult to listen to these people debate this issue. It sounded futuristic and the hairs on the back of my neck were standing up. I couldn’t fathom how I live in a place among people who think that this procedure is right or good simply because doctor’s do not like to probe into the womb unnecessarily during a D & C, that botched D & Cs become D & Xs because the body didn’t fully tear apart. It was a terrible thing to listen to and even worse to imagine. I was really thrown by the whole thing and haven’t been able to shake it.

Yesterday I listened to Newt Gingrich on the Sean Hannity show talk about the elections. He apparently predicted this exact outcome to Hannity while at a tennis event about four months ago. It was interesting to hear them talk – Hannity being ultra-conservative and Gingrich much more tempered. Gingrich brought up the fact that most of the Dems who were voted in on Tuesday ran on essentially Conservative platforms and that the country spoke loud and clear about the ridiculous spending and seeming lack of progress in national security issues. He stated that the best thing for the Republicans to do is to join forces with those “Blue Dogs” of Conservativism and get Conservative legislation passed together but, of course, that will mean that those Conservative Dems will have to remain Conservative now that they are in power. It was interesting to think about Conservative bi-partisan work. I hope that’s a real possibility.

I hope our future is a return to Conservative spending, smaller government, strong national security and a strong foreign policy. I hope my kids won’t think that life is cheap or that debt is good. I hope the people they listen to and the people they read will be a community of honesty and civility. I hope that they will find their voice and that it will be listened to.

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