Conundrum of Epic Proportions

Posted by on Aug 4, 2006 in Uncategorized | 6 comments

Our neighbors had a giant tv. A tv that could eat you if it had a few extra microchips in it’s brains. It was big and it took up a big space in their living room, although it was in a very nice cabinet where it could be shut away with care and only opened when their gorgeous (and I really mean that word) daughter needed a Nemo fix (which is about every three hours, if you were wondering).

The neighbors are redecorating/updating/pairing down their living room and one of the things they decided to do was to buy a new lovely entertainment center. It’s a darker wood with a bit of distressing that looks shockingly awesome and lush in their living room. The tv, however, it was too big. So large was the beast that it’s girth could not be shoved into the new (bigger in total size but smaller in the tv cubby area) entertainment/wall unit thing. So, they put it on Craig’s List.

Then they waited. In the meantime, we heard about the desire to free themselves of the large and in charge monster. It was originally eight hundred smackeroos and they were hoping to get two-fifty to three hundred for it, since it was used and all.

On Wednesday, Craig’s List paid off and some people called to say they were coming for the thirty-six inch television. The neighbor, a little freaked out that people were coming to her home that she did not know, while her husband was not home, called Jud and asked him to come over when they came and also to see if he could maybe help them put the huge thing into their vehicle. He did, but it would’ve been much easier if they hadn’t brought a sedan (by the time it was finally in the car, both were scratched).

Jud got ten dollars from the Craig’s List shoppers. The neighbor got about $250 (I forget now) for the television. And I got a tongue lashing from Ronke.

“Why didn’t you buy that tv? You are 29 days from Husker kick off and you shouldn’t force your husband to watch it on that teeny tiny little screen!”

Then I said, “Our tv is big enough.”

But Ronke insisted, “Your tv is the same size as my computer monitor!” And also, “Are you crazy?! A giant tv for under $300?! You should’ve told me about it because if you didn’t get it, I would’ve bought that tv!”

Jud agreed.

I hadn’t really given it a serious thought. In my mind, I think tvs should cost about twenty five dollars or just be free. I think about how much more productive America would be if we all kicked in the screens in our houses through which advertising companies suck our brains and our dollars. I think about how fun it would be to drop televisions from great heights and see them all smashed up. I think I am crazy.

So, this is my formal apology to my husband for forcing him to watch football in miniature and for not thinking we should’ve bought the neighbors tv.

Sorry, Jud!

(So, commenters, do you think I am right? Do you think Ronke is right? Do you feel sorry for the hubs who is being deprived of watching sports in a socially acceptable manner? Do you loathe coming to our house to watch anything because our television is unworthy to look upon? Really?)


  1. I agree with you, Kim! we only have a big TV because it was FREE. and at least Jud can watch football, we don’t use ours for tv reception (we only watch movies on it), so Luke doesn’t get to watch football on any size tv, he listens on the radio. Aside from missing sports (which he actually handles pretty well), we love life without tv, who needs it? Actually, we feel kind of embarrassed our non-tv tv is so huge, we’re always explaining how we didn’t pay for it. we wouldn’t consider your small tv “unworthy to look upon,” we’re proud of you!

  2. Kit – I think we would be okay with doing things Luke’s way if I had giant mountains out my window. But alas, we have legless panhandlers and triple diget temperatures instead. While I know that this still doesnt justify things, I love watching nebraska football and a bigger tv could enhance that experience. By big, the largest I would really want would be 27″.

    Current Tally:
    Kim 1
    Ronke 1

    BTW: Thanks Ronke for helping Kim see my perspective. Sometimes her brain is still a little granola and it clouds her judgment.

  3. I have to post a comment in favor of Jud – not because he’s my new favorite “in-law” (I will always love you Kim) but because in the instance of sports events and great movies, a bigger TV is a nice thing to have around. If it’s a question of obsession, it can be 13″ and still be a menace. I don’t buy into the “we have one, but don’t watch it”. Sell it and use the money you make for charity or something:) On the other hand, if Jud had wanted it, why didn’t he do something about it (love you too, Jud;>) Does this mean it’s a tie?

  4. Jud man, I feel very badly for you. You definitely lost this one Kim. Sorry. Big TVs are necessary, not for companies to suck our brains through, but to watch fantabulous movies on, and beat your wife’s at video games. It’s much more exciting to watch her loose on big TVs than small ones 🙂

  5. It’s not doing my posts right. Sorry.

    You have a good point about the mountains. We do feel sorry for you guys down there in TX.

    Actually, I’d get rid of our big tv, but Luke is just so proud of the fact that he found it in a dumpster… not sure what that says about us.

  6. I suppose I do side with Jud a bit maybe. If we lived in TX, and our huge dumpster tv actually got reception, maybe we’d watch it. But living in the mountains you have to buy cable to get any tv, and we can’t afford that and after 4 years we realize we’re happy with it that way, but we do have the mountains, as you said…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *