I try not to write much about the people with whom I work. Mostly because this is not a blog where we talk about our jobs with a great deal of detail (we like our jobs and would hate to get dooced), but I will now write about coworkers in general and the proper things to do and not do.
Do not assume you are coming to work to make friends or to insert your knowledge of life into the personal lives of others. Be sure to keep your private life as private as possible. If something in your private life is interfering with work, say you have a personal tragedy or crisis requiring you to be away from your desk for hours or days, you should share the briefest amount of details possible in order to help them comprehend your absence, but not so much as to have them begin to wish other crises upon you so that you do not come in at all.
Bathe, brush your teeth and wash your clothing. This is especially important if you plan to stand in my cubicle or use the bathroom before me. Your stink will linger in the stall or in my cube and I will come to loathe the minutes you lurk in any place other than your own bastion of stink (you know, YOUR cubicle).
Do your job. This is important because the rest of us are in fact doing ours. You will find this especially helpful when we ask you a question about our work that intersects with yours. You will be able to provide answers and to possibly even add commentary that’s relevant.
Do not send emails to other coworkers, cc-ing your boss, showing complete disregard for how your team is perceived by your team’s customers. Also, do not send the email at 8 am and then leave for the day and then lie about why you left.
Finally, be yourself. If you are naturally obnoxious, stinky, lazy or stupid please do not work near me.
Note: It is possible to make friends at work, but please note that this is the exception, not the rule. If you happen to make a friend or two, rejoice (as I have), possibly text message one of them and then…….get back to work.
