I Don’t Know

Hi kids. I’ve been out of commission for a while now doing all sorts of things that involve all sorts of interesting but mostly mundane things.  And if you are even bothering to still come over here to find nothing posted, I assume you are some kind of stalker because the rest of the world gave up on me quite some time ago.  Now that it’s just me and the crazies, we can all finally get down to biznas.

First up is the project management triangle.  You know this one already, right?  Good. Fast. Cheap.  Pick any two but it’s all you get.  It’s easily understood in housing projects (not THE projects of course, just projects around your home…think Renovation Realities). Let’s say you want to redo your bathroom.

Option 1 – Good and Fast: You will pay through your teeth for the best contractor who will send all his men over to get this done pronto.  You’ll be happy.  All your drawers will close properly. The subway tile will just what you ordered. Also, you’ll be poor.

Option 2 – Good and Cheap: You will not pay much, the job will be done with proper measurements and all but it will take approximately elevnty months of heartache and exactly three visits from out of town guests filled with excuses and explanations about why that toilet isn’t level before it’s complete.

Option 3- Fast and Cheap: This is where that TLC show comes and films you while playing pop-up-video for the nation to snark on you as you fumble through a job that you wanted to complete in a weekend for a grand. In the end, it looks worse than when you started.

We were trying to figure out which route to take all summer every time we hung out in our backyard and noted the distinct peeling paint and scars from the old deck.  What to do? What to do?

And then?  Then?  THEN?

Then we broke the triangle.

But how?  Tis a law! Tis time tested!  Mother and father approved even!

I won’t say.  It’s not the point.  And perhaps I’m working on bottling it up and selling it on the open market one of these days and you’ll already have patented it.  Then what?  Yeah, no good. But let me just tell you that our house is painted a nice shade of yellow with white trim.  Lovely. And the triangle, while still very much in play in offices ’round the globe, shattered in our driveway last weekend.  Hope renewed.