I’m [First & Last Name] and I have a dude

At work, I support people in North America as well as Latin America and the Caribbean. Yesterday I got an email written in English, that I’m pretty sure someone got from freetranslation.com. It began with his name and the stating of his problem: I have a dude. I’m afraid I have no work around for having a dude. I think he’s going to just have to live with it.

In other work related news, someone requested a warranty for “MENTAL RETARDATION” last week. The warranty was covering six dollars and sixteen cents. Seeing as most people would be self insured for such a small amount of moolah, I called and left a message with the person who submitted it. I thought I could also find out if there should be some sort of County or State Agency name to go along with it, but didn’t hear back so I just printed out a form saying that my company guarantees Mental Retardation. I’m still hoping it was some sort of April Fool’s joke.

In more work related incidents I would like to make a comment about cliches. While microwaving my lunch yesterday, a guy from the other side of the office came in and we exchanged the normal pleasantries. I gave the standard “Fine. How are you?” and he said “Well, it’s Friday.” And you know, I understand that he was most likely trying to say “The hope of not having to drag my butt into this place tomorrow, sure makes today seem swell.” But really, he could have some kind of Friday-phobia where he completely hates them or maybe his grandmother died on a Friday and now all Fridays from here until eternity will forever scar him just a little bit more. I don’t really know the man, so how I can know what “It’s Friday” means? So, that’s what I said. I asked “What’s that mean?” He gave answer A. I should’ve known.

My father really likes to avoid all of these life scripts where we ask each other questions we don’t really mean. It’s not that he doesn’t like the people asking them or anything. Just the opposite really. He’d rather have conversations about stuff that means something. Also, he likes to stir things up a bit. He frequently tries to answer off script. On most things dad and I see eye to eye, but in the work place, when I’m standing in the middle of the office kitchen, let’s just stick to the script.

Also, I let Jud out of his cage today and we went out for BBQ. It wasn’t that great, but we had a coupon.

Scenes from the city:

This could be your city too. Allied always reminds me of Ford.

You can’t tell because the camera focused on the red smudge, but that man is playing a keyboard and wearing a ridiculous hat. The keyboard was all primary colors.

I like signs painted on bricks.

More every-city. I don’t know who owns Allright Parking, but they must be one rich dude.

“SPCA of Texas?”

“Jud and Kim what could possible interest you there?”

And we’re out of time.
Tune in next time to find out!