Yesterday, I had a conversation with a single friend about the new happenings in her love life. The conversation left my mind drifting around in the past.
Married friends, do you remember those days when you were newly dating someone? When everything in your life seemed slightly electrified and everywhere you went you juiced people? I remember. Listening to her very rational thoughts that were a bit sharper than I may have ever had on the same topic, I had to force myself to stay in the moment and really listen. My head kept playing back scenes from a past life, the ones that involve a very different cast of characters than the one I lead now. So many days that were filled with that emotional buzz flashed before my eyes and I was overcome by two very separate thoughts.
“I am so glad that is behind me.”
and
“Where does all of that electricity go?”
There’s a rhythm to married life that feels more like your favorite sweater than your gold stilettos. It’s not that marriage is uglier or not as fun. Your favorite sweater is cashmere! It is luxurious and familiar and always looks good. It’s quality and it’s comfort. There’s nothing better. But you also have those awesome gold stilettos that you used to wear with pants and skirts in all lengths. They make your calves look smoking and show off the pretty polish on your toes. They make your feet hurt sometimes but you can usually work through the pain because you feel great in those shoes, even when they are just paired with jeans.
There was a rhythm to single life too. Just like the heels, it was marked with putting your best foot forward and shining up your outside. It was about walking tall and sucking it in and toughing it out, even when the blisters on your little toes were near bloody. It was exciting, but probably for all the wrong reasons.
So, I’ll keep pulling on my sweater and relaxing in it’s comfort, knowing that it’s not the stilettos that made those nights fun. It was me. It was my attitude. It was the adventure. And there is still plenty of time for that.
