Several months ago (I cannot for the life of me pinpoint when it was. I believe this is either a sign that I have too many things going on or that I have been recently abducted by aliens) I noticed that one of the front curtain rod holders was bending toward the ground in a way that it was not meant to bend. I knew immediately, of course, that this was because of the tremendous amount of stress it was receiving from two small bodies PULLING and TWISTING and in general not being kind to the front curtains.
Most days I could probably completely disappear from the house and leave a recording of my voice interjecting a few things every five minutes. I would include the following statements:
You, guys, stop doing that.
Somebody is going to get hurt.
Get out of the curtains.
For real. Get out of the curtains.
Watch out for the baby!
We’ll eat again soon.
Rinse and Repeat. And repeat. And repeat. And throw in a few more of the curtain comments. Because oh, my lands!
We replaced the front curtain rod whenever it was that the old one was set to break earlier this year. We bought a sturdier one that stretched the full length of the front window and it is super lovely. Or at least, I love it. Loved. Whatever.
Here’s how it all looks today:
See those curtains there on the ground? They look much better hanging up.
I kid you not, the metal could not withstand the kids. See what I did there, with ‘kid’? UNCLE JOKE.
Whenever stuff like this goes down, I always think about Marty McFly’s advice to his parents. Thankfully, they have not yet set anything on fire.
My own mother used to tell us that spiders lived in the curtains, so we ought to leave them alone unless we want to be bit by spiders. This sounds like a very good family legend to perpetuate.
Oh my word, I think you will need to get this corrected before they come to take out the shade tree, or it will get awfully hot in the living room.