Survey Says

Posted by on Aug 9, 2006 in Uncategorized | 5 comments

The doctor’s office called to say that, once again, I am a statistical anomaly. I had cancer cells growing among my healthy cells, pretending to be no big deal, so that my body would not fight their growth.

C’mon Body! Those guys aren’t your friends. Attack, I say. ATTACK!

Okay, before you get all excited and panicked about this, you should know that the margins were all cancer free. If you were a doctor, you would be all “That’s good!” because it means they got it all and as a general rule, you always want to ‘get it all.’

You should also know that I feel fine. I never even had the slightest hint of pain or discomfort (save the times they prodded me with electrically charged instruments and also the snippers). I am not weeping and don’t especially feel the need to. I do sort of feel like fighting, which is why I will keep my plans to hit the gym after work and will most likely get on the treadmill now to run the snot out of this body so that it will remember who is the boss of who.

Please don’t feel the need to get weepy with me about it. I’d prefer to joke and be blase`. So, if you want to leave a comment or call me or email or whatever, please feel free to use sarcasm and also to poke fun at me, because I am more comfortable with that than the Hallmark stuff.

Let’s see, what else to tell you? I’ll see the doc again in three weeks when I should be all healed up from the last procedure. He’ll check it out and will most likely tell me to get checked out again in three months. There’s no chemo talk or radiation or any of that stuff. It’s not that way at all, so don’t worry about me losing my preshus hair (people, bald would not be a good look for me. I can’t even pull off reading glasses, and I’m pretty sure the doctor can tell that it would be a complete mistake to make me get rid of all this frizz. Not that there is anything wrong with the bald cancer head, because it really is a wonderful sign of boldness against ravaging disease and I am always proud of those who bare it all in strength. It’s just that I’d rather show how strong I am by doing one of those lumberjack tournaments. I look pretty good in flannel).

Can you picture this head without hair? Insufferable! Also, I guess I should’ve put some more blueberries in that dish…


  1. Kim – You’d look awesome in one of those turban/head wrap thingies that I’ve seen people where. I always wonder, do they have no hair or are they just wearing it to make people think they have no hair?

  2. Or are they hiding something else up there? Like candy? A puppy? Or possibly French fries? My bet is on a little tiny sleeping puppy. That’s what I would put up there, wee animals. Thanks for the turban vote! I would, of course, then have to avoid flying for a while, especially given my husband’s smoldering Mediterranean good looks.

  3. I think you would be cute with the “Lt. Oharra” (of the original Star Trek crew)look going on. Of course you would have to tattoo a big red “N” on the top of your head for all those Husker game days. And then, you could even wax it for that “polished” look. I bet Dad’s vote would be for the Harley Davidson “do” rag. These are all options, glad to be of help! 🙂

  4. Glad to hear things are ok.

  5. Okay…so before I just got caught up on your posts from the last month…I sent you a hallmark email…sorry Kim:) I’ll work on the sarcasm : )

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