There have been many people who’ve come to visit us in our wonderful new place in the Big D….Sarah, Krystal, Tom, Dad, Michael, and more. Most of them saw the place we lived in before and all agree that this place has much more character and tons more space. We love our new home….the nice closets, the adorable courtyard, the spacious living room, the great neighbors….good, good, good.
BUT (you knew this was coming, didn’t you) I’ve got a big beef with the bathroom. Before, when I washed my face, I would splash water to rinse away the soap leaving a puddle of water on either side of the sink. The puddles form because the water runs down either arm as I do the famous splash just like that Noxzema girl who was everywhere the summer of 1993, including the JC Penney catalog. She had that really curly brown hair and I thought if I could just splash my face like she splashes hers maybe I could fit into those cute high wasted jeans too. The face splash lingers but the jeans, they are gone. Anyway, you can ask Allison or Jud (the two people forced to share bathrooms with me for extended time periods) about how great I am about mopping up said puddles. They will tell you that I am horrible about it; that I must assume the water will evaporate and all will be well before the next person must use that sink even if they will use it but ten minutes later.
So if I was bad at mopping up the water on this counter….
Imagine how bad I am at mopping up the water that now pools in the floor…
The answer, of course, is terrible. The worst part is that the floor is already gross. The tile was laid and never sealed, so all of that darkness in between the tiles is not gray grout but instead mucky grime that I have attempted to clean away with all sorts of things that don’t work. So, the pools of water become these disgusting pools of muddiness. Something must be done!
No. Something other than me wiping up the grime water every night.
Of all the things Jud misses about the old place, I’m pretty sure this is the most significant.
i have several comments.
first. your counter dampening is much more endearing in hindsight. yes… endearing…
second. in truth i don’t remember being annoyed, just laughing with you about your ridiculous logic, often so flawless, somehow tragically crippled in regards to sink matters.
third. your little puddles paled in comparison to the time i left the sink (drain stoppered) running full force to soak a swimsuit, then made the unfortunate choice to take a shower, forgetting to turn off the sink. later this required my taking a powersander to the underside of the sink to try and hide the “waves” made in the countertop particle board. we got our full deposit back so i guess it worked.
fourth. i will visit you this summer i think. before it gets gross hopefully? before i am the last of your friends to come hopefully?
fifth. my bathroom tiles are also ancient and held together only by time and grossness. i feel your shame. occasionally one of them pops out and i get to see the underside while i try to glue it back down. tasty!
sixth. have you tried some sort of bath mat under there? maybe a plastic one that you could easily wipe up if you were to ever decide to clean up after yourself?
seventh. you could wear a cone like they put on dogs to keep them from biting at themselves when you wash your face. somehow this seems more likely to happen then that whole “cleaning up after yourself” thing.
eighth. shine on you crazy diamond.