I originally said all of these thoughts out loud when a friend of mine was about to get married. Is that not what you do at your bridal showers? It’s a thing we do. Someone gets up and speaks and reminds all of us in the room about how we should be living while giving the future bride a heads up. I didn’t write down what I said word for word then, but the bride asked for my thoughts, so I’m doing that now. I hope she finds it helpful and I hope you do too.
My friend is a runner and I dabble in doing the same, so I thought that would be a good illustration (albeit a frequently overused one). Here’s most of what I said, kind of. I never remember exactly. It’s the Message version.
I thought I’d pretend to know more about running that I do and use it as an analogy for marriage. I always tell people that to find a spouse you should start running toward your goals and then look around and see who’s running next to you. It’s an idea I borrowed from Tommy Nelson and I think it’s a solid one. Friend, you’ve already done that and found the person to run alongside until the race is over, so now your days of having a permanent running partner begin. It’s not a crazy idea that this is going to take some work, so here are three tips to keep running well together.
First, training helps but your attitude while you run is the most powerful determining factor in how well you run. The daily routine of life will be most influenced by how the two of you approach each day. There are so many reasons we can have bad days, but our minds don’t have to be controlled by the circumstances that come our way. Colossians 3:12-13 says, “ Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” This is your duty to each other: be merciful, show kindness, and defer to one another. You’re going to get it wrong. He’s going to get it wrong. In those moments, give each other grace. We’ve been given so much grace from God. Be a conduit of it to each other.
Second, find a sustainable joint pace. Right now, you are running hard. Your life is like a giant hill these days where you keep hoping you can see the top but are nearly too afraid to take your eyes off of the next step you need to take. Thankfully, there is an end. You’ll crest the hill and hopefully you’ll get a nice long flat stretch before you climb another one. Be careful not to keep choosing the hardest path. Colossians 3:14-15 states, “ But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.” Loving each other well means saying ‘no’ when he needs you to, even when you want to say ‘yes.’ It’s being thankful for the dirty dishes and the socks in the floor because those things show he lives there with you, imperfectly but at peace.
Third, get a good playlist. Since you’ve already found the perfect (for you) running partner, the two of you need to remember to keep the run fun. Colossians 3:16-17 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Dance. Enjoy this good gift the Lord has given you. Laugh. Life is going to throw you some curve balls – things you didn’t see coming, but the Lord is not surprised and He is not allowing it for nothing. Trust in Him. Lean into one another, for His glory and in His name.
And when things get too tough and you think you can’t do it, call me. Love you.
