To All

This year I did not even attempt to take a picture and get all Christmasy Photoshop on it. I did not plan to print them off cheaply or to send them out in envelopes to friends and family. What I did do to prepare for the holiday was to go shopping one Saturday and buy a few things. Not all the things I need to buy, of course. I will be leaving later today to finish that project (3 things left – the three things that I have no idea about – the ones for the hard recipients, except my mother, who used to be the hard one, but she is much easier in my mind now; See: Gift cards for places she loves). I have not baked. I did not think about coordinating outfits for the children.

I have laid around pretty much every evening while my uterus contracts. It has been awesome. I have consumed my own weight in Tums and Protonix while being pretty sure that my esophagus has holes in it. I have made suppers I cannot eat and watched my ability to use reason disappear down the garbage disposal. I have stressed out about nothing and shrugged over things that have meaning.

There is no snow on the ground and the weather is unseasonably warm. It just doesn’t feel a lot like Christmas and that seems rather fitting for 2011. It wasn’t the kind of year over which I’ll be nostalgic down the road. It was one of the hardest we’ve been through, really – lots of death (figuratively and very much literally), lots of uncertainty, lots of disappointment, lots of just straight up hard stuff. This would’ve been one bummer of a Christmas letter had I decided to write it all down month by month or something.

But it wasn’t all hard and it wasn’t all bad. We had visits from my incredible cousin Jackie and her hilarious husband Chris, Ronke, Allison & Dan, friends from overseas and more. We watched our kids grow into amazing, hilarious people that we like more and more every day. We watched great people get married, good friends have adorable babies and parents walk through the process of adopting their little ones. We went on trips and made memories that will one day, hopefully, be louder than the hard stuff.

I don’t know what your 2011 was like, but I hope that no matter the over arching theme (dramz or chill or love or death) you’ll be able to be thankful for the journey. I have been repeatedly reminded of Job’s comment to his wife in 2:10 where he says “Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” I suppose I should label it the verse of the year. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

Here’s to 2012! To new life, new adventures and the unknown of a year packed with possibilities.