With All My Might

My company is split into two bizarre families.

One family is all old school, with the boys and the “that’s not the way we’ve always done it before.” We’ll call them the Jones family.

The other company is more new school, still plenty of boys but all “okay, let’s try it that way.” We’ll call them the Miller family.

When the two families inter-married, that’s when things got really interesting. Now things are more chilled out, but still quite tense at times…holidays and anniversaries and what not.

I prefer the Millers because I prefer to move forward and to experience higher efficiency and because I do not like to listen to complaints without being able to solve them. Also, the Millers make more money.

Even though I have always worked under the understanding of the marriage, I’m still pretty much viewed as a Miller, which is fine by me, except for when I have to talk to the Jones kids.

One of the Jones boys used to pull my hair all of the time. He didn’t kick me or anything, just the sort of thing that wouldn’t leave bruising, but would totally annoy me. He came for a visit this week and was just so pushy and all “you’ve got to show them who’s boss if you’re going to make it” and also “if you would [behave like I do] then they’d learn.” I just played along and laughed and all because I don’t really think that the hair pulling teaches people much of anything. I’d rather just serve them and keep on moving. Frankly, I’m too busy to play those little games.

This is the part of the family events that I dislike.

There are, however, some pretty funny stories to tell sometimes. Like today, when the following emails were sent. Play close attention to who is sending emails to whom.

Email #1 –
From: Meribeth Jones
To: Everybody in both families
Hello everybody, you are all invited to come get some learnin’! Here’s when it is and where it is and all of those fun details. Iffin you want to come along, jest rit me back.

Email #2 –
From: Lilibeth Jones
To: Meribeth Jones and EVERYBODY IN BOTH FAMILIES
Thank you! I would like to attend. Please sign me up.

Email #3 –
From: Tom Jones
To: Meribeth Jones and EVERYBODY IN BOTH FAMILIES
I would like to participate.

Email #4 –
From: Angry Miller
To: Meribeth, Lilibeth, Tom and EVERYBODY IN BOTH FAMILIES
Now that we all know that Lilibeth and Tom want to attend. Can the rest of us respond without “replying to all?”

Email #5 –
From: Annabeth Jones
To: Meribeth and EVERYBODY IN BOTH FAMILIES
I will attend the meeting. Everybody’s welcome at our place to listen in!

Email #6 –
From: Funny Jones
To: Angry Miller and EVERYBODY IN BOTH FAMILIES
Sure! No problem………..

Email #7 –
From: Ridiculous Jones
To: Angry Miller and EVERYBODY IN BOTH FAMILIES
Excellent Angry! You were reading my mind. Glad everyone can join but Meribeth is the only who really needs to know. Email foders [sic] are exploding as it is.

Email #8 –
From: Lilibeth Jones (who got this whole mess started)
To: Meribeth and EVERYBODY IN BOTH FAMILIES
Is anybody else going to get some learnin with me?

Classic.